You can figure out how to hold left to walk to the right, right? Well then, cloak yourself in as many ectoplasmic friends as you can. They don't do any damage and only reverse your controls, which in Splatterhouse 2 just means that left is right and vice-versa. There's a simple secret to success, though, and it's a rather Halloween-appropriate one, too: let the ghosts grab you. Your reward for not falling into the holes is that the level is much shorter and less difficult, but at first getting through this stage without slipping into the dungeon seems like a tall order, what with the ghosts that screw with your controls and the endless zombie hordes and such.

The title screen music, the blood-red text of the Terror Mask's whispered promises, the atmosphere of the first area and its monster-thwacking action, the charming skit the monsters put on for you before the boss fight - it all adds up to one of those gaming experiences that feels like it was designed specifically with me in mind. It's purely a matter of personal taste, but for me Splatterhouse 2 has one of the very best opening stages in videogaming, especially if you include the intro. It sure would be embarrassing if that killed you, right? Ha ha ha, no, of course it's never happened to me, he lied. Oh, and make sure you step back because in a final fit of pique the boss' stomach rips open and spews a puddle of deadly acid onto the floor when it dies. Get in close and punch it five or six times and it'll die. Whatever this thing is, it doesn't make for a particularly difficult fight: it vomits acid at you, which you can let arc over your head if you stand in the right place.

It's always nice to see a boss that's so grotesque you're not even sure what it is, and you have to resort to vague descriptions like 'mostly a mouth, also a large gut, it's clearly some kind of autonomous stomach with teeth.' The thing behind the door is also the boss of stage one, and it is most definitely not scared of Rick.

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